That is where Satan had me for many years. I had always been a quiet and insecure person and found it difficult to make friends. I was a very sensitive person and was always getting my feelings hurt every time I turned around. I grew up in a family that was full of love, but I also grew up with a father who was an alcoholic. As a young child, I remember other extended family treated us as if we were not as good as they were, and I believed it. The unkind words wounded me deeply. My mom wouldn't let my friends come over to the house because the house was not very nice because my dad spent so much money on liquor. And I was afraid that my dad would say or do something to embarrass me. There were many times I wanted to run and hide, but in spite of the embarrassment, I loved my dad very much. God is faithful and answered our prayers. My dad quit drinking completely later in life and became a christian before he died.

But I carried this insecurity into my growing up years and also into my marriage. Not realizing I was under bondage, I continued to allow people to hurt me and to control my life and my emotions, instead of allowing God to control my life. My husband and I had even found ourselves in church situations where were wounded deeply. One night a friend of mine invited my husband and me to attend a revival that was going on at her church. There was a prophetess there that night and she spoke on bondage and deliverance. At the end of the service she prophesied over several people. She told me and my husband that God wanted to set us free from a church situation we had been in, but then she turned to me and said, "God wants you to forgive your father". That word went all the way through me. I had not realized the deep hurt that I had been carrying. My dad had died several years before. How could I forgive him? Almost as if she read my mind, our pastor said, "Jean you can forgive your dad even if he is dead." I remember so clearly her words. "You choose to forgive as an act of obedience to God. He owes you nothing." She explained that it has nothing to do with feelings. And when you choose to forgive, you are breaking those chains off of you so that healing can begin in your life.

Those words were rhema to me; they were alive. Choose to forgive as an act of obedience to God. I loved the Lord with all my heart and I did want to be obedient and I did want to be set free. That week, I went on a forgiveness spree. It started with my dad, and I went through my life thinking about all the people I could think of that had hurt me and when God brought them to my remembrance, I forgave them, I chose to forgive them.

Doing this has brought such a change to my life. Once you are obedient by choosing to forgive, allow God to fill you with his great love, to feel up the spot that used to be filled with hate and bitterness.

My friend, I pray that you will receive your healing today by not only asking God to forgive you but by releasing the unforgiveness that has hindered your healing for too long.

Jesus, through the power of the Holy Spirit, go back into my memory. Every hurt that has ever been done to me - heal that hurt. Every hurt that I have ever caused to another person - heal that hurt. All the relationships that have been damaged in my whole life that I am not aware of - heal those relationships.

But Lord, if there is anything that I need to do - if I need to go to a person because he is still suffering from my hand, bring to my awareness that person. I choose to forgive, and I ask to be forgiven. Remove whatever bitterness may be in my heart, Lord, and fill the empty spaces with your love. Thank you, Jesus. Amen.