Jesus, I'm Afraid

AS you grow in your relationship with the Lord and allow the Lord to change you into His image, you may find that there are hidden things in your life that He wants to change. Things that even you did not realize were there. What is stopping you from growing in the Lord? For me, one thing was fear. What am I afraid of and where did this fear come from?

Many times this comes from fears you had as a little child. I'm not saying I had a traumatic childhood, but to a child, a lot of things can be traumatic, and if not dealt with, can shape and mold you and cause you to have a negative self-image that follows you through your adulthood. It holds you back from growing in the Lord.

As a very young child I used to love looking into the mirror. I must have been younger than 4 because I hardly remember it. But I do remember always getting in trouble because I left handprints on the mirror. Lord, what happened to the joy I felt when looking at myself in the mirror? Lord as I look in the mirror this day, I pray this prayer to you:

Jesus, I ask you today to heal the child that is within me. Reach back into my childhood and heal the little girl that was always so afraid. No one ever knew; I hid it well. Or at least I thought I hid it. Everyone thought I was so brave, I never cried much. Instead I would keep everything to myself and go into my room and be by myself. I felt safe there. I used to think I could take care of everybody in my family and make everyone better. I didn't realize I was learning control at a very young age. I realize now that you were with me even then, but I felt so all alone. Thank you Lord for seeing me. Jesus, I ask that you forgive me for not giving you control and for not trusting you. I didn't really understand trust.

Jesus, take away the fear caused by words that were spoken. Take away fear caused by situations and circumstances I found myself in. Take away the fear and insecurity I felt when my earthly father died. Lord, forgive me for putting my earthly daddy above you. He loved me very much. But you love me even more.

This day, I crawl up into your lap and say, "I love you Lord, thank you for being My Daddy. I lay my fears down at your feet." I look into your eyes and I say once again, "Daddy, did I tell you today that I love you?"

As I look into the mirror once again, I notice something has changed. I thought I was looking at me, but ….hmmmm…. I'm beginning to look like my Father.

Thank you Jesus.